A GUIDE TO GETTING MARRIED AT ST PETER’S

This page addresses some ‘frequently asked questions’ about marriage in church. You can download the notes in PDF format by clicking here. For information about baptisms, please click here.

1 What do we need to do to qualify to be married at St Peter’s?
Provided you are legally allowed to marry one another, you can do it at St Peter’s if one or both of you:
(1) live in St Peter’s parish; or
(2) are on St Peter’s electoral roll (you can be entered on this if you’re over 16 and have been worshipping here regularly for at least 6 months); or
(3) were baptised at St Peter’s; or
(4) were confirmed after being prepared for confirmation here; or
(5) lived in the parish, or worshipped at St Peter’s, for at least 6 months at
any time in the past.
You also qualify if your parents or grandparents were married at St Peter’s, or if one of your parents lived in the parish, or worshipped at St Peter’s, for at least 6 months during your lifetime.

If you aren’t sure whether you qualify, one of the ministers will be able to help you. They may need to ask you for ask you for further documents or information. In addition, you will need to pay the fees laid down by law (see Question 12) and, normally, have banns read (see Question 4).

2 What if one or both of us have been married before?
In this situation, if your former husband or wife is still alive, that is not a bar to getting married at St Peter’s. Before agreeing to remarry you, the minister will need to meet you to talk about it.

3 What if one or both of us aren’t UK nationals?
Special issues arise in this situation, so again you will need to discuss it with a minister as soon as possible.

4 Banns
Usually, you have to have banns of marriage read at our main service on 3 Sundays before your wedding. The minister will ask you to fill out a form to provide the information we will need to read your banns and, later on, for the marriage register and your marriage certificate. You’re very welcome to come along to hear your banns being read! The service starts at 10am and lasts just over an hour. Please note: If either or both of you lives outside the parish, you must make sure your banns are read in the other parish(es) too. You must produce a banns certificate from the other parish(es) to the minister no later than the rehearsal.
We suggest you contact the other parish(es) as soon as possible about applying for your banns to be read.

5 What preparation will there be?
One of the ministers will need to meet you at least twice to get to know you, discuss the arrangements for your wedding and explore with you the meaning of the marriage service. The first meeting needs to be about 3 months before your wedding. There will also need to be a wedding rehearsal shortly before your wedding date.

6 The order of service
The Church of England has wedding services in modern and traditional language. You can choose whichever you prefer. The minister will go through the alternatives with you when you meet. If you would like a printed order of service, the minister is happy to discuss what needs to go in it. We can also provide a template order of service for you to adapt, but it will be your responsibility to produce your own. You don’t have to have a printed service sheet if you choose hymns from the hymn book we use at St Peter’s (Hymns Old and New). If you choose any other hymns you will need to get the words printed. If you are having an order of service printed, it must be ready by the rehearsal.

7 What hymns and music can we have at our wedding?
You can have any music by arrangement with the minister. We can help in 3 ways:
(1) The minister can help you choose which hymns and other music you would like. A CD of popular wedding hymns is also available.
(2) If you like, we can help you arrange an organist and/or a quartet of professional singers. Please tell us as soon as possible if you’d like either of these.
(3) Music on CD can be played at the service on our PA system. There is no choir at St Peter’s.

8 What readings can we have at our wedding?
The minister will discuss this with you and can provide details of readings from the Bible which the church recommends for use at weddings. You are not restricted to these, though: you can choose another passage from the Bible and include non-
Biblical texts, by arrangement with the minister.

9 What about flowers?
Most of the year there are flowers in church for Sunday for which we make no charge. For a small charge, we can put you in touch with someone who can provide posies for pew ends; if you would like this, please tell the minister as soon as possible. Professional florists are welcome to decorate the church, but an appointment will need to be arranged for them to have access.

10 Can we have bells?
There is a single church bell at St Peter’s which can be rung by the minister either before the service, or afterwards, or both. No charge is made for this. It is not possible to have a peal of bells.

11 What about photos, video recordings and confetti?
We ask that no one takes photos during your wedding. The minister will be happy to allow and take part in photos afterwards, inside and outside the church, including re-enacting parts of the ceremony. You can have a video made of your wedding by prior arrangement. A recording fee will need to be paid to the church and, if you have one, to the organist. The camera has to be in one place throughout the service so that it isn’t intrusive or distracting and doesn’t get in the way. Confetti is not allowed, but alternatives such as rice may be possible by prior arrangement.

12 What will it cost, and how do we pay?
The following fees are set by the Church of England (2009 rates):
(1) £22 for the publication of banns
(2) £257.50 for the wedding, including a marriage certificate.
Total £279.50.

Please pay in full by cash or cheque made payable to St Peter De Beauvoir PCC. The deadline for payment is 3 months before the wedding. If you pay by cheque, the cheque must have cleared by that time.

Cancellation: If you change your mind and decide to cancel the wedding more than a week before the set date, we will refund your fee payment less a cancellation charge of £50. If you cancel after that, no refund will be payable.

Extras: Pew Ends (see Question 9) currently cost £50. If you would like an organist or a singing quartet you will need to negotiate a price with them, but as a guide you can expect the cost of the organist to be about £100 and the quartet around £200-250. Please pay the people concerned directly.

We hope this leaflet is helpful. If you have any other questions, please speak to one of the clergy after our Sunday service or telephone the Vicar Rev’d Julia Porter on 020 7254 5670 or e-mail her on juliap@freeuk.com.

A GUIDE TO BAPTISM (CHRISTENING) AT ST PETER’S

This Guide is for anyone who wants to know more about baptism, either for yourself or your child. You can download this information in PDF format by clicking here.

What is baptism?
Baptism, or christening, is the way people become members of God’s family, the church: the worldwide Christian community.
The word baptism comes from the Greek word for washing. When we are baptised, we are washed with water ‘in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit’. In other words, it is God (not the Vicar!) who washes us and gives us a new start.
God wants everyone to have loving relationships with Him and one another. Growing into those relationships is a lifelong journey for all Christians. Baptism is a public statement by God, the candidate, their supporters and the church that the candidate has joined the rest of the worldwide Christian community on that journey.

What do you need to do for you or your child to qualify to be baptised at St Peter’s?
The basic rule in the Church of England is that if you want to be baptised yourself or to have your child baptised, the right place to do it is in your local parish church. But there is an exception if you belong to another church (anybody can attend any church they like). This means that if you don’t live in the parish, we won’t normally baptise your child at St Peter’s unless you have been coming to services here regularly over a period of time. Otherwise you should approach the local parish church where you live. If you don’t know which church that is, we may be able to help you find out.

If you do live in St Peter’s parish, we will be delighted to baptise you or your child here. All we ask is that you undergo preparation and meet the requirements about godparents and sponsors which are explained later on. (Having said that, because baptism is about identifying with the Christian community, we’d like to think you would want to get to know us and join in our worship.)

What preparation will there be?
To prepare for any baptism, one of the ministers here will need to meet you to discuss what will happen in the service and what it means. This meeting usually takes no more than an hour. It can happen in your home, but we recommend it takes place in the church, as this makes preparation easier for everybody.

For the christening of a baby or young child this meeting is the only preparation you will need. For adults, and some older children, who are candidates for baptism, it is also helpful to explore whether it would be right for them to be confirmed as well as being baptised.

Confirmations happen once a year, in preparation for which candidates from St Peter’s attend weekly sessions spread over several weeks.

What are the rules about godparents and sponsors?
Children who are baptised in the Church of England traditionally have at least 3 godparents, at least 2 of whom should be the same sex as the child. However, the rules do say that ‘when three cannot conveniently be had’, one godfather and one godmother will do. Godparents are usually family members or friends, but parents can be godparents too.
Adult baptism candidates have sponsors rather than godparents. Each candidate should have at least 2 sponsors. Their role in the service is to present the candidate for baptism. Godparents and sponsors have an important role in supporting the
baptised on their journey into the loving relationships with God and neighbour which God created them for. Because of this, the rules require them to have been baptised themselves, and preferably confirmed as well.

When do baptism services take place
All baptisms at St Peter’s happen during our main Sunday service, which starts at 10 o’clock. There are 3 reasons for this:

• For anyone, child or adult, becoming part of God’s family is a public event.
• So that the rest of the congregation can welcome those who are baptised, pray for them and support them.
• It also helps remind the rest of the congregation about the promises God made to us, and we made to God, at our own
baptisms.

There is more to explain about this, but we do that in the preparation session.

We hope this leaflet has been helpful. If you would like to discuss baptism for yourself or your child or you have any other questions arising from this leaflet, please speak to one of the clergy after our Sunday service or telephone the Vicar Rev’d Julia Porter on 020 7254 5670 or e-mail juliap@freeuk.com